Posts Tagged ‘Delegation’

The other day I was facilitating a strategy meeting with a group of executives. During the meeting, I started to notice a familiar pattern of listening that you all have observed in the past. Of the 8 participants, two of them would ask questions of the others in the room, and shortly into the answers from others, these two would interrupt and throw in their opinions without letting the other person finish.

As facilitator, it was my job to redirect the conversation back to the person who was interrupted. During the break, I put on my executive coaching “hat” and took the two executives to the side and shared my observations with them. And not surprisingly, they were totally unaware of their behavior. Upon some further questions and dialog, it became clear that both of them had fallen into a similar trap.  Prior to asking the question, they both had decided what the answer should be and once answers to their questions started down a divergent path from their answer, they simply jumped in to prove that they were right.

They had started down the right path by asking some good powerful questions that provided the responders to dig deep for an answer.  Their questions generally started with “How could we….”? or  ”What would….”? And they started to listen, and then stopped.

The problem is that they never moved from listening to active listening. So what’s the difference and why is active listening so important? First of all active listening takes a lot more energy than listening because listening is more automatic. When we listen what we interpret is based on our mood, our personal experiences, biases, and preferences. Our listening is also impacted by the self-talk that is occurring within us which is a huge distraction. In the situation described, they were biased to their own answers and their internal voice started saying “they have it all wrong, the right answer is”

So are you one of those leaders who ask a question and then interrupt half way through the answer or do you know someone who is? I would argue that we all have interrupted another person’s thoughts. The question is, do you do it enough where it is impacting your team and your effectiveness. Has it become a de-railer for you, which could hold you back from future success?

Here are five techniques to move from listening to active listening.

1. When you ask a question which is going to lead to a complex answer, listen to your inner voice first.  Do you already have your own opinion? If so, before you become rude and interrupt, jot down your idea, and continue listening And next ask yourself, “what proof (actual data) do I have to support my opinion?” Then focus on what is being said, and ask more questions to fully understand the other person and gather additional data. When all your questions have been answered, before you jump in, ask others for their opinion if others are involved in the conversation.
2. Before going into a meeting or one on one conversation, make sure you write down anything that is currently on your mind that may distract you from staying focused on the current dialogue. This takes practice but the more you jot down those items/issues that can potentially distract you  the more time you can “stay with” the conversation.
3. Be conscious of your mind wandering during the conversation. If you find that you may have missed a point or are unclear about what was said, apologize and share with the person that you became distracted and ask for clarification from the person talking. This will demonstrate that you care about what they are saying.
4. Take a temperature of your mood and emotions while in an important conversation. If you are at an emotional point where you can’t listen without heavy filters, ask for a time out and regroup after your emotions have settled down.
5. Restate what you have heard to confirm your understanding of what has been discussed and reach agreement of the understanding.

Active listening will provide you with a deeper understanding of a situation and will show employees that you value their thoughts and opinions, ultimately driving better organizational results. It can also impact an organization’s innovation and competitive advantage. So the next time you are in an important conversation, remember the 5 tips for active listening.

Well it happened for the millionth time yesterday, when a client shared her frustration with me that she seemed to have to solve all of her organizations problems, yet the cause was her. Her impatience and desire to assist others created a dependency on her to solve all the problems.

Does this siutation sound familiar?  Your in the middle of work and one of your employees comes to you with a problem and you know exactly the right solution. So you immediately tell the person what he/she should do. “Well that was easy” you say to yourself.  But here is the problem you just created for yourself, you also made it easy for the employee.  The next time they have a problem they are going to come to you again and even quicker than the first time! You are the enabler and creator of your own problem.

So what do you need to do next time a person comes with a problem? Before you resolve the problem, inquire and ask them questions that will help them develop their own solution. The questions should be open ended, such as “what”,  ”how”  and “when”. Here are some examples: “What do you think you should do?” , “What other options have you identified?” And when they come to a solution, don’t forget this powerful question: “What else” This will get them to think deeper with the potential to come up with other options to their problem. This technique is used widely be executive coaches during coaching conversations and can be extremely effective to get someone to their own solution that they own, not you.

Who knows, it may be a better solution than one you planned on suggesting before you bit your tongue and “asked” versus “told” them what to do. Creating a path to a solution for an employee takes more time in the short term but it will free up a lot of time for you in the future. Having the employee create their own solution provides a learning opportunity for them and the potential that they won’t be back in your office with a similar solution the next time.

I was recently facilitating one of my Vistage CEO groups in which the group was reviewing the way we had been operating looking for ways to improve our meetings.  One of the members shared a best practice with the group which reinforces mission vision and values within his company.  He thought the technique could be transferred to our Vistage meetings. As the discussion progressed, there was a little voice in the back of my head saying “Beth, don’t get sucked into adding onto your responsibilities”. Almost as quickly as I heard the silent message,  did I turn to the member and delegate the 5 minute exercise to him for all meetings moving forward.

What an empowering feeling it was.  It really was a great idea, but the member was the one who owned the idea, not me. He should be the one to execute it during the meetings.

This 5 minute discussion got me thinking of the many times that I had not delegated in similar situations and the impact delegating has on leaders, especially in real time situations.  So often when we are planning projects and major initiatives we have time to think about who and what to delegate BUT it is the times when we are in the middle of a meeting or conversation that we often don’t delegate because we either: 1. think we should do it or 2. want to help out.

Clearly in the situation I described in my Vistage meeting, the person was already doing the very same thing in his company, so he was qualified to have it delegated to him AND I didn’t feel like I should do it. And my help in this situation was not going to add any value to the process as it wasn’t something I had ever done, although I could do it if necessary.

So the next time someone has a great idea which is going to create work for you, are you going to delegate in real time?

Recently, I have had several executive coaching conversations with business leaders who have complained that they weren’t accomplishing enough.  One leader felt as if she would never get through her “to do” list. But as the conversation progressed she was able to list out many things that she had accomplished, yet an item was always followed by a “but”, totally negating the previous accomplishment in her mind.

Does this scenario sound familiar to you?  At the end of a long week, do you feel as if the week flew by and you didn’t accomplish what you had wanted?

Here are a few simple steps to break this self-defeating cycle.

1. Delegate: your list of tasks.  What HAS to be done by you and what can you delegate to those around you? Then delegate tasks.
2. Prioritize: Now look at the remaining tasks on the list.  What is really important versus what is urgent? How long has each task been on your list? Identify the important top three tasks and focus on these items first. Always tackle the important, most impactful items first.
3. Eliminate Roadblocks: If there is a task that has been on the list longer than a month, why is it still there?  What is holding you back? Who can help you get past the roadblocks?
4. Recognize Accomplishments: And finally, at the end of each week write down those accomplishments and successes, however small, that you can claim victory on. Remember that like a small stream that leads into a large river, small accomplishments lead to much larger ones!

Take some time today to incorporate this process into your week, and stop beating yourself up!