Posts Tagged ‘communication’

The other day I was facilitating a strategy meeting with a group of executives. During the meeting, I started to notice a familiar pattern of listening that you all have observed in the past. Of the 8 participants, two of them would ask questions of the others in the room, and shortly into the answers from others, these two would interrupt and throw in their opinions without letting the other person finish.

As facilitator, it was my job to redirect the conversation back to the person who was interrupted. During the break, I put on my executive coaching “hat” and took the two executives to the side and shared my observations with them. And not surprisingly, they were totally unaware of their behavior. Upon some further questions and dialog, it became clear that both of them had fallen into a similar trap.  Prior to asking the question, they both had decided what the answer should be and once answers to their questions started down a divergent path from their answer, they simply jumped in to prove that they were right.

They had started down the right path by asking some good powerful questions that provided the responders to dig deep for an answer.  Their questions generally started with “How could we….”? or  ”What would….”? And they started to listen, and then stopped.

The problem is that they never moved from listening to active listening. So what’s the difference and why is active listening so important? First of all active listening takes a lot more energy than listening because listening is more automatic. When we listen what we interpret is based on our mood, our personal experiences, biases, and preferences. Our listening is also impacted by the self-talk that is occurring within us which is a huge distraction. In the situation described, they were biased to their own answers and their internal voice started saying “they have it all wrong, the right answer is”

So are you one of those leaders who ask a question and then interrupt half way through the answer or do you know someone who is? I would argue that we all have interrupted another person’s thoughts. The question is, do you do it enough where it is impacting your team and your effectiveness. Has it become a de-railer for you, which could hold you back from future success?

Here are five techniques to move from listening to active listening.

1. When you ask a question which is going to lead to a complex answer, listen to your inner voice first.  Do you already have your own opinion? If so, before you become rude and interrupt, jot down your idea, and continue listening And next ask yourself, “what proof (actual data) do I have to support my opinion?” Then focus on what is being said, and ask more questions to fully understand the other person and gather additional data. When all your questions have been answered, before you jump in, ask others for their opinion if others are involved in the conversation.
2. Before going into a meeting or one on one conversation, make sure you write down anything that is currently on your mind that may distract you from staying focused on the current dialogue. This takes practice but the more you jot down those items/issues that can potentially distract you  the more time you can “stay with” the conversation.
3. Be conscious of your mind wandering during the conversation. If you find that you may have missed a point or are unclear about what was said, apologize and share with the person that you became distracted and ask for clarification from the person talking. This will demonstrate that you care about what they are saying.
4. Take a temperature of your mood and emotions while in an important conversation. If you are at an emotional point where you can’t listen without heavy filters, ask for a time out and regroup after your emotions have settled down.
5. Restate what you have heard to confirm your understanding of what has been discussed and reach agreement of the understanding.

Active listening will provide you with a deeper understanding of a situation and will show employees that you value their thoughts and opinions, ultimately driving better organizational results. It can also impact an organization’s innovation and competitive advantage. So the next time you are in an important conversation, remember the 5 tips for active listening.

Over the years, I have worked with hundreds of leaders many who have displayed specific leadership shortfalls, that when improved, have had a positive impact on the effectiveness and profitability of the organization. Both new and experienced manager/leaders can make these top five mistakes, which one is your Achilles heel? And what is your plan to improve?

1. Focusing on the Urgent and not the Important

How much time are you spending on activities that lead to your goals versus those that are urgent and unexpected?  You would be surprised how many leaders fall into this trap. And it is a trap. In fact, I have worked with some leaders who get their “energy” from working in crisis mode.

The key is to set aside time on the calendar that is only for the important activities, and have the activities clearly prioritized so that when an urgent item is screaming at you, you can logically decide what important task can be set aside.

We all have crises, yet more often than not we move right into crisis mode before thinking through what can be moved off our plate of “importants”. Create a process that works for you in which you can smoothly move from the urgent and then back to the important.  Don’t get stuck in the urgent.

2. Lack of Consistent Communication

As far as I can tell, there is no such thing as over communication in the work place. If I had a nickel for every time a leader said to me “I told the company our (project, goal, etc), yet two weeks later they have totally forgotten the conversation”, I’d be a very wealthy person.

In this age of information overload, employees have a lot to file away and process. Communications should be implemented frequently and consistently using a variety of methods since people have different learning styles.  With the huge menu of communication technologies available to companies, messages should be delivered in person, electronically in written, audio, and video, as well as the old fashioned way, printed hard copy. For more on this topic from Harvard Business Review http://hbswk.hbs.edu/item/6629.html

3. Ineffective Feedback

This is a result of providing delayed and unclear feedback. It often starts by ignoring the “small stuff” with the hope that the behavior won’t happen again. More often than not, the behavior is repeated, and becomes tolerated. And it can lead to conflict avoidance by a manager.

The best time to provide feedback is immediately after the behavior is observed. Be clear about what you observed, how it impacted you, and ask for ideas from your employee about how they could approach it in the future. And then get their commitment to make the change. This process focuses more on the future as the past can’t be changed, only the future. For more thoughts on this visit http://www.executivevelocityblog.com/feedback-is-not-a-help/

And for innovative ideas on moving away from the traditional performance review feedback, read an article from Daniel Pink http://bit.ly/lJdmJk

4. Failing to Define Clear Goals

Employees need to understand how they will be measured and evaluated. Defining clear goals provides a roadmap for the employee. And more importantly, when an employee is part of her goal setting process, she has more ownership in successfully attaining her goals. Without goals, employees will not meet your performance expectations because they don’t know what they are.

For additional information on creating clear goals visit http://www.executive-velocity.com/free-tools/

5. Misunderstanding Motivation

After reading, Daniel Pink’s recent book Drive, I am convinced that leaders really need to rethink how they operate and create an environment that provides the foundation for employees to be intrinsically motivated. Too often managers think that changing the extrinsic motivators will lead to a change in behavior, and they can.  The problem is that the change is not long term and sustainable.

Once you have met an employee’s baseline extrinsic motivators, salary and benefits, you should focus on creating a foundation that encourages, autonomy, mastery, and purpose. As Pink describes in his book, all humans are driven by these three attributes.

Autonomy is all about control of tasks, time, technique, and team. Mastery is providing an opportunity to get very good at something and to continue the process and understanding that you will never be perfect.  It is the pursuit of perfection that motivates. And finally purpose, working for some greater good and not just profit.  Profit provides a means for a company’s purpose.  It is this final attribute that is found more often in smaller, entrepreneurial companies who are lead by younger leaders.

So which of these leadership mistakes would your team members say you exhibit?  And what is your plan of action to develop a way of avoiding these mistakes in the future?

Do you often wonder why you get information late and when you do,  are you surprised by it?  Or during meetings, you seem to be the only person talking? What is happening to cause these communication breakdowns?

Recently I was working with an executive who was frustrated that the information flow in his organization was often slow and/or incomplete. As we explored potential reasons, it became evident to me that the environment was one of distrust and fear.  Historically, when an employee had bad news to be delivered, the consequences for the person delivering the message were less than desirable. In addition, the leader went into a micro-managing mode as a defense mechanism to eliminate any future bad news. So what’s the message to the employee?  Bad news leads to bad consequences.

In addition when team members were asked for their suggestions and opinions, the leadership often ignored or dismissed them. No wonder communications were ineffective. 

The article , “Ruthlessly Realistic: How CEO’s Must Overcome Denial”, in HBS Working Knowledge March 29, 2010, points to CEO leading to a breakdown in communications as well. Middle managers are generally the leaders who will initially identify a problem. Yet when the bad news finally makes it up to the CEO who chooses not to acknowledge the reality because it doesn’t fit with his “reality”, guess who looses her job?  It is the middle manager who dared to speak the truth.

If you want to increase the flow of communication here are some tips:

1. If in fact you have an unsafe environment for communications, you need to be transparent with your team and share with them your desire to change the environment and ask them for to help you with the change process. How do you find out if they believe it to be unsafe? You can measure the level of communications safety by way of a 360 degree feedback tool or interview process using an outside resource to insure anonymity. This process will give you a benchmark of communications safety which you can then re-measure after a significant time period to see how you have progressed.

2. When in meetings where it is important to get many ideas and opinions out on the table, don’t dismiss an individual’s comments.  A great technique to use is the “yes, and” technique.  This is opposite to “yes, but”, which people use when they don’t like a person’s idea or opinion. Commit to this technique and see how the volume of ideas increases.  Also, others will notice and start to adopt the technique as well.

3. There are always individuals on a team that you can count on to speak up and voice their opinions and then there are the extreme introverts that need to be invited to share their thoughts.  Make sure that all voices are heard during a meeting. If you have someone who may be uncomfortable sharing their ideas, let them know in advance that you will be asking for their opinion during the meeting so they aren’t caught off guard.

So the next time you are having a meeting, listen and observe. Are people not sharing their ideas or revealing problems in a timely manner because of a behavior that  you are displaying or not displaying? Don’t be a victim of denial and take the steps to change the dynamics of communications within your team or organization.

I work with many business leaders who over the last year haven’t had any fun at work or were afraid to display fun. You know who you are. You are very focused on keeping ahead of the economic difficulties this recession has put you and your organization in.

You’ve had to cut costs and layoff valuable members of your team. Often you worry about your own job and whether you are safe. And for many of you, the mere thought of enjoying yourself at work feels like a betrayal to those who are without jobs. When you are enjoying yourself, there may be a feeling of guilt.

You often ask yourself: “How can I be having fun when there are so many people in pain?” The question you should be asking yourself is “What impact are you having to the people around you?” and “What message are you sending to them?”

If in fact you are a true leader, and according to the book “The Leadership Challenge” by Kouzes & Posner, one of the five key practices of a leader is inspiring a vision, then expressing your joy and modeling fun, are key elements to inspiring others. I believe that if you can’t at least subtly demonstrate enjoyment to others at work that inspiring them will not take place. People will not believe in the organization’s vision if they don’t see others enjoying the journey to the vision.

Now as you read, I used the words subtly demonstrate, and I don’t suggest that you go skipping down the hall and jump for joy. What I am suggesting is that during your interaction with others there are subtle signs that can be sent to others around you in which you can demonstrate that you are having a good time and model this behavior so others will hopefully model to others around them.

What are some of the techniques that can be incorporated into your daily activities?

1. SMILE – When you are talking to others, remember to smile. A smile is contagious. It doesn’t cost anything, takes little effort, and is a visual cue to others that you are having a good time.
2. TONE – When you are speaking add some excitement into the tone of your voice. For some of you who are naturally more serious and not as dramatic when speaking, this will take some practice and may take you out of your comfort zone. For others, who in good times, this is a natural tendency and has been forgotten recently. Be conscious and observant of bringing a more exciting tone to your message.
3. VISIBILITY - Some of us tend to retreat into our offices to hide our enjoyment and not let others see your reactions. Get out of the office and show others that it is okay to have fun.
4. RECOGNITION - Listen for laughter, recognize and encourage it.
5. MEETING FUN - During meetings incorporate a quick component that encourages having fun. This should be quick and at the beginning of the meeting so you can set the tone. It can be a funny video that you have found out on YouTube, or sharing a story that demonstrates fun in the workplace. Maybe you had the opportunity to speak with a customer who shared a funny story or someone else in the meeting has a story to share.

So what are you going to do to model having fun at work during these challenging times? Don’t be afraid to share your joy with others and model the appropriate behaviors to encourage others to be joyful and fun loving as well. After all, for most of us, we spend over two thirds of our adult lives at work and we should be having some fun during this time

As the protests unfold in Iran, my thoughts go to the companies I have worked with over the years who have created a similar environment. Yes, you read it correctly. There are some companies who are like Iran who have penalized those who have spoken out with opinions not aligned with leadership. Now of course, no one has lost their life speaking out in a company here in the US. But they have been penalized and while they have been penalized the company penalizing them has often received payback. What kind of payback?… lack of innovation and loss of great employees

Are you leading or employed by one of these companies? And if so what was the impact on you and the organization?

What I’ve observed is companies who have not made it safe for employees to share their views, opinions, and ideas that oppose the company’s views generally lack creativity and loose many A players over time to competitors. Why? Because A players want their opinions to be heard and considered in planning and decision making and without A players’ team creativity is limited.

How not to be Iran

So if you’re experiencing Iran syndrome, what should you do? Start with open communication and admitting to your team that you want to make some changes to encourage open dialogue AND you need to be sincere and genuine in your delivery. If your employees sense a false desire in change, there will be a huge backfire. Employees need to understand that the rules have really changed Without this their open communication won’t happen.

And of course actions are stronger than words. So what you say needs to be demonstrated by actions supporting the words The next step is to ask questions and listen to employees opinions during meetings. If you should start defending your position, employees will shut down. You will have demonstrated that there no change has occurred. Also, be aware of using the “yes, but” technique which many leaders often use because, you know, they’re always right!. As Marshall Goldsmith identified in his book “What got you here, Won’t get you there” using this technique will create resentment by those receiving the response and will stifle open discussions. And without open discussions an organization will slowly die because original thought is not valued by leadership. Make sure everyone has an opportunity to speak and give their ideas. And don’t let one person dominate the conversation. Introverts need to be invited into the conversation and often provide a perspective that hasn’t been heard.

What if you think the conclusion is heading in the wrong direction? Before jumping in and sharing your opinion, and thus shutting the conversation down, ask yourself how important is the decision? Is it critical to the success of your company or the project? If the answer is yes, then start asking open ended questions to get participants to think of alternative solutions, remember that their solution may not be your solution and that another solution is okay if it provides a similar not exact result.

Continue to open your mind to alternative solutions during the process. And here is the key part of the process, when you hear an idea you like, bite your tongue and let the conversation continue. Let the team continue on to their own consensus. If they come to their own solution, they will own the solution and be more committed to making the solution a success.

In Summary

So if you want to be competitive and retain your high potential employees, create a safe environment for employee to share their own opinions, ask questions, listen, ask more questions until they come to their own solution that they will own and be committed to successfully completing.