We all have encountered this type of person: someone who talks excessively, may repeat himself continually, and can’t get to the point.
In this age of sound bites, texting and tweets, it has become harder to tolerate the motormouth. So how can you manage these individuals in a team meeting and also coach them in a one-on-one meeting to become more succinct in their communications?
In a team meeting
Set a tight agenda and use a countdown timer that is visible to everyone. I use a free countdown timer that can be found at http://www.online-stopwatch.com. If you have regular weekly meetings, then at the beginning of each meeting institute a time limit of 3-5 minutes for each team member to give their weekly update. It is important when instituting this new process that you explain your purpose for doing so. It may be that you want to decrease the time spent in meetings or that you want everyone to learn and experience how to become more concise in their verbal communications.
Give the rest of the team the job of actively listening to each individual’s update and noting information that could have been left out as well as information that might have been repeated. Typically the motormouth on the team will continue to talk after the bell rings signaling that their time is up. There will probably be others in the group that has some difficulty with limiting their remarks.
For those who struggle with the time limit, suggest that they prepare their remarks in writing in advance of the meeting. If team members frequently use texting to communicate, have them think of their presentation as short texts or tweets. If team members don’t typically use texting, then perhaps they are more comfortable with the concept of short bullet points.
After each presenter’s 3-5 minutes are up, each team member has one minute to share their feedback with the presenter – what items were important to the team member and what could have been left out. The presenter’s job is simply to listen to each team member’s feedback and then at the end of the feedback thank the person without further comment.
Using this methodology allows the team to focus on an effective team meeting and not any one individual’s presentation. The process can benefit all team members’ listening and communication skills, and for you the manager, this process will free up some of your time as meetings become more focused and succinct.
In a one-on-one meeting
If you know of a nonstop talker who is a peer, what can you do?
Make the motormouth feel self-conscious by staying quiet while they speak. Being quiet includes not uttering any words or sounds like, um or uh-huh. The more sounds they hear the more they will talk.
When you do speak to the motormouth, speak slowly. Since most nonstop talkers speak at a rapid rate, your slower rate of speaking will create a contrast for the motormouth and will hopefully get them to become more self-aware of how much they are talking.
In addition, don’t restate what you heard as it gives a nonstop talker the opportunity to repeat themselves. Just let them know you understand and then say good-bye. Later, send them an email confirming what you heard and ask them to respond back by way of email.
If none of these techniques work during the one-on-one meeting, take the time to coach them. Share your observations with them about how much they talk, how it makes you feel, and how it impacts you. They can’t say you are wrong about your feelings. If you are their manager/leader, ask them how they think their behavior may impact others on the team who don’t have the opportunity to talk and share their ideas with others. With all their talking, ask them what they think they may be missing from others, both in the office and at home?
In summary: whether in group or individual meetings, the value of managing and coaching motormouths is huge! Your meetings will be shorter, you will be able to focus on the important aspects of your job, and the nonstop talker as well as other team members will become more effective communicators.
Stephanie, Thanks for your thoughful input to my blog. Opposing opinions are always welcome and encouraged;) Beth
Someone who has difficulty being concise, I feel like much of this advice is seriously off the mark and will encourage the motormouth even more. Nothing gets a motormouth going than a good listener, which is what being silent is.
For example, I often repeat myself BECAUSE someone isn’t saying anything or even acknowledging they heard me. If I provide info and the person says “Great, so what I’m hearing is X” I feel heard and then can confidently walk away. Silence encourages repetition.
If the motormouth is interrupting you, why not just say “I’d love to hear more, but I have to complete this task right now” and then go onto the task. That is a respectful and straightforward. The motormouth will more likely respond to this assertive statement than a vague ‘hint’.
If the motormouth is elongating meetings, let them know that they can be a leader by creating the space for others to contribute. The motormouth may feel like they aren’t contributing any value unless they contribute as much as they can at meetings. By letting them know they are contributing to the meeting by NOT speaking may be a foreign concept that needs explanation in a one-on-one meeting between the motormouth and their manager.
To manage their urge to contribute, encourage them to write their ideas down during the meeting. The motormouth will be busy writing, not speaking. He/she will likely not send around those notes, yet will be happy that they aren’t entirely lost.
State upfront that the guiding principle of your meeting is to keep it short. Put times on the agenda for each item. Motormouths often enjoy the togetherness of a meeting don’t mind them being long. One way to state this: “The goal of this meeting is to cover these points as quickly as possible. Meaning, is not a brainstorming meeting. Knowing there are no lack of good ideas here, so-in-so will serve as timekeeper so we can stick to our goal of having an expedient meeting.”
A buzzer can be very helpful, but can also be rude if not handled well. Consider asking the motormouth if they think a buzzer in the meeting is a good idea to help keep meetings on-track, they might surprise you by saying yes. Since they were asked their opinion, they will more likely “buy into” the buzzer idea and respect it at meetings.
“Speaking without punctuation” is a not-so-uncommon issue. The first step is to get curious.
Is the motor-mouth a verbal processor? Is the content on target? In either case, the coaching is around awareness of the impact on the team and techniques to manage to flow/speed.
Is this pattern – rushing-in, over-speaking, dominating the conversation, etc. – showing up elsewhere in their professional life? If so, the coaching still includes awareness of their impact on the team and extends to awareness of the resulting impact on their opportunity to keep their job.
Remember, “Bottom-Lining” is an art, not just a science.
“Make the motormouth feel self-conscious by staying quiet while they speak. Being quiet includes not uttering any words or sounds like, um or uh-huh. The more sounds they hear the more they will talk.”
LOL, this tip right here is so TRUE! If you are quiet while the other person keeps talking, they will most likely “subconsciously” receive hints that you would like for them to stop talking…
Sincerely,
Thomas Anderson
Very informative post, I just added you to my Google News Reader. Keep up the awesome work Look forward to reading more from you in the future.